I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
