oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
