don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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