Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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