On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
