You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
