i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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