I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
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When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
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A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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