I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
