I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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