You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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