well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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