oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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