Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
