all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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