I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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