my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i think i just lost a toe
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