I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
