I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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