if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
