Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
