as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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