remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
