thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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