i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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