She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
