Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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