As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
