wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
