Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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