We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
