my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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