Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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