Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
