Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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