look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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