The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how can u be prego again
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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