My brain says no but my pants say off.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
