Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
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He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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