Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize