I'm really into asian looking animals
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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