He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize