Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
