8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
