What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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