Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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