I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
