O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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