it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
