Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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