Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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