hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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