Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
