This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
