Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
