The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize