When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your cock deserves a montage
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
